week 1...

mike was able to take this whole week off work. awesome! except... every time i think of him going back to work on monday i tear up (or cry. usually i cry). i have no clue how i'll do this alone. i feel totally inadequate! how lame am i?? we've never had 11 straight days just being together at home... trading off trying to catch a cat nap a day (if we're lucky). wearing pj's 24/7. waking up 5 times a night in a sleepy stupor to a squealing baby. getting used to feeding a human 8+ times a day (do you even pee 8 times a day? 8!? that's a lot!). balancing the needs and cuddles of a perfect newborn while also trying to entertain a 3-year-old in less than 900 square feet mid-winter (we did go on a long walk outside today- how delightful!). adjusting to 2 is so different than 1, but it's been such a wonderful week of family time...

^^ "playing with elle."

^^ in my lipstick for the 20th time in one day.

^^ helping give jude a bath.

^^ daddy/daughter date.

jude's birth according to my iphone...

^^please take special note of the towel & string, provided on delivery day by my coworkers, who were sure i was going to go into labor at any moment. these ladies? they are prepared:)

meeting jude...

jude's story:

jude's birth came in a strangely unexpected way. i did say that if i didn't make it to my induction date of march 1st, it would be delightful to have him on the 20th. i have this weird thing with reversible numbers, and 02/20 seemed the only viable option should he be born in dreary february:) elle was born on 10/01, but hey, it's not like those weird "that would be fun!" thoughts usually work, right? :)

i went into the doctor before going to work for my 37 week appt. i was at a 4. "are you having contractions?" "no." "oh, too bad. if you were, i'd could have sent you to l&d!" 

shoot. 

he asked if i wanted my membranes stripped. "uh, sure!" the thought went through my head of 'oh! my strep test must have been negative or else he couldn't do that...' after all, i was positive with elle, too, and my old doctor said it wasn't safe to strip my membranes if you tested positive for strep... 

after telling me that i could now go at any moment, he also said my strep test was positive- "oh, and if you do feel contractions, go right into the hospital. we need to get 4 hours of antibiotics in you before you can deliver. and you may go fast."

i threw my hospital bag in the car on the way to work, and tried to decide if i should wish for consistent contractions or not. as the day went on, i got more and more nervous about the whole strep + 4 hours + should he have stripped my membranes? thing. he's the doc, but google says it's bad... (ok, enough of saying that phrase. it grosses me out.)

around 2:00, i called in and pleaded the "hormonal, crazy" card, asking for confirmation that it was ok that i was going into labor on my own. the receptionist put me on hold and when she came back said that he wanted me to come in again and be checked. again. 

i was so bugged! i was just there!!! ugh. 

(time to speed up this story.)

mike met me at the doctors office. i was at a 5. today was baby day! 

we walked next door to the hospital, and i burst into tears as soon as we were alone in the delivery room. a life flight helicopter landed just outside our window. that didn't help the situation. 

we were dressed in work clothes, looking dazed and confused. was he ready? was i? i wanted to be un-pregnant, but i was only 37 weeks! i was exhausted from a killer cold, and had zero sleep in the previous 4 nights. i seriously doubted whether or not i would make it through a night delivery.

after a visit from my parents & elle, we waited. waited those 4 hours for the penicillin to kick in. my doctor broke my water and gave me my epidural around 7. i felt like crapface. so lightheaded and queasy. finally at 10 i was a 10!

our little jude was born at 10:21 after 3 contractions, and 90 total seconds of pushing. hallelujah!!

instantly adrenaline hit and i was beyond elated.

we had to wait until the epidural wore off before going to our new room. it was past midnight and although totally beat, i was in such a good mood. like, happier than i've been in... who knows. at least 9 months:) i was so happy not to be pregnant! happy to meet this little boy with a head-full of brown hair. happy that he was safe and sound and healthy. happy that i made it through the night and felt good. 

that hospital bed was the most comfortable bed i'd ever laid upon!  (no, seriously, though.)

it was 1:30am by the time we were settled in our room. the adorable nursery nurses were the cutest people ever, so we willingly let them take our little man for the night and we tried to catch some sleep.

our hospital stay was strangely vacation-like. my parents took care of elle for those few days, and we are so appreciative! we had visitors come and go, but also had the chance to just be with jude. he was a dream and didn't make a peep until the last day. he didn't ever properly cry, other than right when he was born. otherwise, he let out a few incredibly high-pitched, loud, sheiks. like 2 of them to share his pure distain. and that's it. it's quite funny. i wish so badly to capture one and share his manliness with his future girlfriends.

coming home has been an adventure... lots of sleeplessness. and can i just say? it's not very kind that the world doesn't stop turning when you bring a baby home to a house with a toddler. how do women do this with 5 kids at home!? it also doesn't help that the same toddler decides although she loves "baby brother," she kind of hates her mom right now. i guess i should have called that one? at least she loves jude... and mike. so i shouldn't complain:) i'm hoping it'll pass soon. otherwise, i'm incredibly grateful that mike has some time off to stay home as we figure out a new balance. 

i can't even imagine a better little person to welcome to our home. we are so in love with our jude!

he's here!

jude maxwell petersen 

was born february 20th at 10:21pm

7 lbs. & 20.5"

he is perfect in every way.

i have about a million things (pictures) to share,

but for now we are trying to figure out how to survive life around these parts!

more to come!

party-party!

my amazing coworkers threw a baby shower for our little man on valentines day- it was a crazy, crazy day at work, but it was such a treat (zing! pun!) to all sit together and just listen to their advice about boys. it's no surprise i've been terrified to welcome this man, but i value and love these women so much, it was just perfect to sit in a circle and laugh and laugh and laugh about their experiences. we got lunch from my favorite place, gourmandise, and the girls planned a "decorate your cookie with the name you think they should name this child" game. good times! there were some stellar options:) oh!! and please note that the tables were set up in the shape of a heart. you don't get that everyday, people.

oh, and while we're on the topic of parties! 2 days later we had a "tea party" for the daughters and granddaughters of the wonderful women i work with. 

these women? they can throw a party. can you tell?

i was/am shocked i didn't go into labor after being on my feet for 7 hours straight. although, boy has dropped, and i'm sure it's because of gravity that day! alas, he's still hanging on. he is angry that there is no room left inside of my belly. he reminds me most every moment of the day that he would rather be stretched out. owwwie. 

oh! party. sorry... here a just a few shots of the surroundings. and my favorite little girl who stopped by for lunch:)

33 weeks.

i realize i haven't done much other than repeat how hard this pregnancy has been. naturally, i'm a "glass half empty" kind of person...  but now, hormonal to boot! i'm a dream:) if you've been anywhere near me, you've heard my woes. sorry about that:) it's all pathetically reminiscent of my whining days pregnant with elle... and now, i look back and get sick of reading all about it! the truth is that, yes, this has been a really long 8 months so far, but i am so incredibly thankful for this little boy!

although grateful to not be on bed-rest, this time around i have the same lack of energy and desire (x10), except i have to chase a feisty toddler around:) i thought it would be awesome to be pregnant through the winter, but it has been really tough! i miss fall. or spring. it's been so cold and so snowy that unless i'm going to work, we are inside the house. trying to avoid being turned into popcicles, or getting sick...

...except that last week elle & i caught some nasty bug- i thought it was a cold, but it's superhuman and like no cold i have ever experienced. ever. a cold it is not! things got progressively worse for 8 days before they turned back around (slowly) for the better. a whole bunch of antibiotics later and we're on the mend. now i feel like i have "just" a bad cold/flu. add pregnancy to the mix, and i was/am down and out. i'm on day 10 and praying it's gone soon! oh, how i miss cold medicine!

i made it through most all of my pregnancy with elle being able to sleep- this time? not so much. if it's not hiccups 4 times a night, it's tumbling and kicking my kidneys. i'm praying nights awake will not be a pattern that shall continue post-birth:) sleepless nights are also due to constant trips to the bathroom.
or my mind just thinking thoughts like, 'wow! you should really be sleeping right now!'
or it could also be the snowplows outside at 5am.
or this sickness...
or elle coming into our room, ready for the day at 5:30am....
sleep!! oh sleep!

my belly is currently the same size as it was when i delivered elle. rats. nothing like feeling gigantic to boost one's already fragile temperament, eh!? my clothes are pathetically tight and short (even the maternity ones which i've really avoided this time around)- my pants hardly stay up, and my i can feel cold air under my belly. do you know what i mean? when you're so round you realize gravity isn't working in your favor- clothes don't usually go over, around, and back under. so attractive! working out is only a dream, and i miss it desperately!

some good news is that the problems with my sciatic haven't gotten worse. which is what they were expected to do. i haven't collapsed in a good... 3 weeks? that's a huge improvement!!! it is funny how i start to panic, wondering if i'll ever have a normal body again. or walk again. or see my toes...will i!? someone tell me i will... i think i will...?

baby boy is sitting just like elle was, only higher up- one leg pushing so hard on my right side that i have been able to grab his little foot through my skin. he's so active. so active! if i stand more than 5 minutes, i feel like he will fall out of me. although i am fairly sure that can't happen (so says my male doctor. but i swear i beg to differ on certain days. men. so silly!)

all that being said, i am trying to remember that i may never get this chance again. i have 33 weeks under my belt... and within 7 more (or 6, or 5!), i should get to meet this little man! i am so excited. i am also nervous and terrified and worried. and most other words that are pretty synonymous with "nervous and terrified and worried." all of it- making it to the actual birthing process without losing sanity. labor. a fragile little newborn. don't get me started on nursing vs. formula. kid #1 attempting to smother kid #2. being able to handle being a new mom again...? oh, dear! i guess i just keep going, right? because that's what you do? so i'll keep going! here's to the next few months and all that is in store:)

it's a...

(seriously? shocked! i would have been less surprised to hear, "it's triplets!" us? a boy? oh, goodness! here we go!)