the quarantine roll, 2021-01...

although we're not officially quarantined like we were last march - may, elements of the strangeness of pandemic life continues. i decided in january i wanted to continue #thequarantineroll tradition that was started last year- capturing the very, very normal parts of life in our tiny apartment as a family of 5 on film. 

mike's work from home was extended through most of the summer (!!!), and the kids are scheduled to be learning remotely for the duration of the school year (the end of june); life is squishy and usually not pretty, but i know this is a season i'll cherish forever for a million reasons. some good days, some bad days, every day LOUD, and a lot lot lot of being in each other's personal space 100% of the time.

each images tells a little story of our life in january 2021...

film from early summertime: harvey's 3rd birthday, blm & nyc

film from a season that feels like a year in and of itself. 

we were just starting to dip our toes outside a bit- our covid numbers were down, finally. "the quarantine roll" project turned into this last roll of b&w film, and included life outside with more freedom.

then a man was killed. slowly. on video. 8 minutes & 46 seconds.

george floyd's death was despicable, heartbreaking, and abhorrent. then we learned about breonna taylor. ahmaud arbery. so many more. the streets started to flood with masked protestors. we joined them many, many days. others days (or nights), we'd hang out our windows and cheer them on as they marched down broadway. constantly they marched. day after day. night after night. my heart ached. on breonna taylor's birthday, we stood in the rain at a vigil and listened as the rain pattered on umbrellas. we went to a violin vigil for ahmaud in washington square park. all 5 of us joined in the communal tears. we talked to our kids. i read. i tried to educate myself. i felt ignorant, and stupid, and guilty. heavy. i tried to listen more. we supported as best we could. we watched a sick city turn into a rallying one- it was beautiful. there were riots, but the good far, FAR outweighed the bad. people asked us if we were safe- if the riots scared us, but it felt like the wrong question. fear and anger and pent up........ everything exploded for millions of people. those of us still in the city rallied again. first, covid, then what felt like 10 minutes later, this. racism. alive, and misunderstood by too many. it was a somber, heavy season. but it carried with it intense, intense feelings of support and strength and grit. it completely changed me. 

the streets boarded up-- between covid and rioting, windows all covered in wood. 5th avenue, soho. the upper west side. the upper east side. anywhere we went we could see it. the boards then covered in messages of support for blm & calling for an end to the violence. we'd scooter around sometimes those days and just take it in...

the end of school came- remote learning for 1st and 4th ended at our kitchen table, and summer officially started.

there were cheers at 7pm for months, and we cheered every night, until they slowly stopped.

at the end of may, harvey woke up 3! he wanted a baby doll and a stroller. the kids got him a pop-up bus-- he loves yellow, and buses.

for harvey's 3rd birthday we had a perfect little pizza and pinata picnic in central park (actually, 2 parties)-- tradition. it felt so good to keep a tradition since so many are gone this year. 

quarantine roll 3

it's thursday. phase 1 started monday in nyc - our first baby step to re-opening! 

phase 1 means construction, manufacturing, hunting (ha!), and curbside retail. 

due to the looting, a lot of the retail has remained closed, so really, the biggest difference is more people on the streets, and now you can pass the threshold at starbucks, and 2-at-a-time, you can enter to pick up your food. really though, it's not too different than the last 100 days. it's been a long road. 

a little blurb from my IG, which landed there first instead of here:

I laid on my floor and sobbed. My emotional dam was broken by none other than a soggy croissant. Feeling alone, guilty, jealous, burned out, tired... it all came to a head. The cascade of emotions and events tied to unnecessary death and racism shattered my heart. I listened, watched, read, donated, and marched. I looked with new eyes & promised myself to be better, moving forward in real and legitimate ways. These last 3 months have been harrrrd on my mental health- overwhelming, exhausting, claustrophobic, isolating, discouraging. We haven’t left our little Manhattan island once. We’ve watched our city get sick, and sad, and broken. We’ve watched it shut down and board up. We watched the rest of the country shut down, and then open again. It seems like everyone our family loves has left. 100 days ago we had a village, and now we just have ourselves. We chose to stay- we’ve chosen a hundred times over- to stay and fight. To try and support the community we love. Home. We've had the same talks about what the future looks like a thousand times. We’ve fought more times than I can count. We’ve said awful things in low points, and cried buckets of tears, and wanted to run, only to find ourselves still here. We’ve made up, and held one another, and we’ve had the most special moments of love and gratitude. We moved to New York City because we loved what it was— but the last 3 months we’ve watched her change. First, as the epicenter of Covid, and then as she let out her anger; she rallied with her strong, diverse fighters- a city with strength in numbers and a fire to fix. Today, we finally start phase 1 of reopening. It’s a step in the right direction. I’m hoping to find my footing again. Healing. Our new normal. Patience and grace. Deep breaths.

some photos from #thequarantineroll 3 - moving from life indoors all the time, to time outside each day. it was SO welcomed...