1.11.2018

our family in one of my favorite spots in all of nyc...

 first, i am happy to report that the lowest depths of sleeplessness meant we only had 1 option- i took harvey to the pediatrician last thursday who confirmed he was decently healthy (still sick, but no infections or overly-concerning issues), and she told me it was time to let him cry. she made me promise i'd dedicate a solid week. saturday as she pushed the elevator button, elle said, "mom, i think the doctor was right. this is good for everyone in the long run. we can do it!!" i'd just laid harvey down for a nap, and mike offered to listen to the screams while elle & i did a little retail therapy via the anthro sale. (it's the best part about being in a marriage- the teamwork. especially like this case when it fairs much more in my favor than his;) we're still very much in the middle of sleep training, but the good news is there has most definitely been a massive improvement. the first night was the worst. of course. there were a few really awful patches in between (no one says what to do when they wake up every 45 minutes screaming- i get what you do the first time you lay them down, but after that?!?!! it's all a guessing game). the last 2 nights have been much more like they were when he was a baby- but better! he's going down with less of a fight (sometimes no fight!), and only waking 2-3 times to eat, then going back to bed and sleeping until 6:30- heaven. HEAVEN! i'm still nervous though. and there won't be any counting chickens before they hatch. but i am so grateful. and i need to share that!

as we speak, he's napping. in his crib. more than that, i rocked him and held him and sang to him, and we had a little moment of pure heaven where he lifted his head, looked into my eyes, and opened his mouth- i kissed his little lips and waggy tongue over and over and over, and he just stared into my soul, then he laid his head back down. his 21 lbs. of warm weight leaned into my chest, and his little fleece-covered butt rested on my forearm. his fuzzy head brushed my cheek, and i kissed the back of it a million times. then a million more. his breathing got heavier and slower. then, as i laid him alllll the way down into the bottom of his mini crib, which is smushed between closet doors and a bunk bed, he looked back at me with his eyes half-open and that sweet little angel smiled at me, and rolled onto his belly before closing his eyes.

and then i nearly collapsed into a puddle of joy. and humility. and the most intense love any human could ever feel.
sam & ryan looney were in town- they're the prettiness behind our travel passport (see sam's photo site here as well), and we met up on a frigid day in dumbo for a photo swap. it was amazing. and the photos literally make my heart sing. sam & ryan are incredible- like, i'm flattered they were even willing to hang with us cause they're super cool. also, sam is a genius with that camera because, as mentioned: COLD. and kids were: COLD. 

but these are exactly what i hoped for: us. with one of my favorite backdrops ever. she captured us in a time, and a season, that has a piece of my soul like no other ever will.
capturing this time means so much to me. so much. i know we just got photos taken, but i'll cherish this bunch forever. 

thanks to sam for making magic happen!

and here's to warmer, healthier january days, and lots of sleep-filled, cozy nights.

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