elle matilda...

five-and-three-quarters seems like an unusually magically age. 
i'm amazed on a daily basis by elle's wisdom and creativity; her innocence and beauty. she's seldom offended, kind, and gentle. she's artistic and smart and silly. she's patient and a good listener. she's helpful and full of love and generosity. she holds doors open for strangers, and politely waits her turn in line. i've been having moments where i sincerely don't know if it gets any better, but i'm scared. as good as this all is, i feel like we're teetering on this edge of innocence. i'm terrified to send her to school in the fall. basically, she's had an extra year with us, which is a gigantic blessing, but it feels a little like i'm sending my baby lamb into a den of wolves. elle is headed to all-day kindergarten in a school that is less than stellar. the area is tough, and she'll be in the definite minority- a far cry from the school she would have attended in salt lake. we've given her options of what to do, but for now, she chooses to go, so off she'll go. i want her to make this decision, and i want to support her in whatever she does, always. she's incredible. i feel entirely inadequate to call her my own, but luckier than i ever imagined!
 these poses are all her by the way. she hits them- one after another- without a second thought. also note that little front snaggletooth- it's so loose! i forget how the whole "teeth fall out" process works...? it's been a while.

while we were driving the other day i turned around and asked, "elle, mommy & daddy's anniversary is next week- what should we do? do you want to go to dinner as a family?" 

"um, why don't you two just go out. i can watch jude?... or i have a better idea! let's get a sitter!"

"ok! like a girl from church? we don't know a lot of people here..."

"i have the best idea! let's go to care.com! they have thousands of caregivers in our area!"

i simultaneously peed my pants laughing, all while i wanted to crawl under a rock. all the tv she has watched since we've been buried in work and school is clearly starting to stick in her little brain.    whoops. 

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