10.01.2015

happy 6th birthday, elle!

another year has passed, and my sweet little baby continues to grow and change and teach me more with her wisdom than i could have dreamed. she's kind and gentle and silly and spunky and thoughtful. she brings peace and laughter to our home. she is understanding and patient. she's incredible. she teaches me infinitely more about mothering than i ever have taught her. 

the days of elle being a baby are long gone. she is such a part of our lives that i forget she's still a little girl. she's brilliant- wise well beyond her years. she's an amazing artist. she's a wonderful friend. she can talk your ear off, but is the most collected, quiet, calm observer when times are stressful or hectic. 

when elle was a baby i felt terrible for not nursing, for not holding her when she fell asleep, and for not doing so many of the other things "all" the other moms were doing. her birth was filled with (welcomed) medical intervention, and that first night after she was born we sent her to the nursery. we never bought a changing table, she had few too many toys, and even though we followed every book and tried every piece of advice we could think of, nothing ever helped that little girl sleep like we were promised she would. i worked outside our home, and i really love(d) it; she was raised by not only parents, but also grandparents and family and adored by coworkers of mine who took her in as their own. now that those baby years have passed i want to shout from the rooftops: "it doesn't matter!!!" all those years of feeling inadequate as a mother seem entirely insignificant now. i stressed so much. i looked to others for support and it didn't always come... but i followed my gut. and i learned. i learned so much! i made so many mistakes along the way. i realized that parenting is hard and different- everyone does things the best they can, and that's totally awesome. i prayed for that sweet little girl to be able to grow past all my insecurities and inadequacies, and love me even though i was doing things "wrong." elle is mine. she's ours. she was made for us, and she has somehow been able to survive and thrive and succeed past anything in mine and mike's power- she is a god-made, heaven-sent little ball of awesomeness that fills our lives with light and joy. she is amazing.

elle matilda petersen, we love you so!

happy 6th birthday to the little blonde love of our lives!!
elle's birth day, and turning 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5.  (ahh! where have the years gone!?)

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