5.21.2015

lost photographs...

 a natural byproduct of taking thousands and thousands of pictures is that most get lost in the shuffle. well, maybe lost is the wrong word- i remember many of them. most of them. i know they're there. hidden in files within files- organized, but hidden. because as vain as i am, i still realize there is no way to share all of them. each picture is a memory, and each memory is a locked up snippet of time that i want to remember for one reason or another. i was scrolling through my phone the other night and forgot about so many of these from our new york trip- they're the random shots from my phone that aren't gathered as tightly as the camera files. they're the grainy ones and silly ones. but they're the photographs that tell the story of our days and nights.
 last night i ran long and hard. i missed running in the break i took after we moved here- it's been hard to get back into the habit. i forgot just how therapeutic running is for me. i also forgot the main reason i love it so is because i can turn up music as loud as my ears can take it, and run with all my might. this particular night i had the same song on repeat. again & again & again. i ran my fastest mile ever to this song- the words were just so lovely. i needed to hear the words. it was a hard week emotionally. running away to the other side of the country helps a lot, but not all. some things you aren't really able to run from. (shoot.) being here has taught me a lot, but i feel like i have so far to go. so much i need to figure out still...
 in the next life i want to be a musician. specifically to have some stellar voice, or wicked guitar talent. (ok, or at least to be a musician's friend... best friend, maybe.) music was a huge part of my life when i was younger- i miss it quite a bit. i forget how it speaks to me. i forget how impactful music can be. music sends my mind down old pathways in my brain i forgot existed- people and places and memories. it's kind of strangely magical.
loving can hurt 
loving can hurt sometimes 
but it's the only thing 
that i know 

and when it gets hard 
you know it can get hard sometimes 
it is the only thing that makes us feel alive 

we keep this love in a photograph 
we made these memories for ourselves 
where our eyes are never closing 
hearts are never broken 
and times are forever frozen still 

so you can keep me 
inside the pocket 
of your ripped jeans 
holdin' me closer 
til our eyes meet 
you won't ever be alone 
wait for me to come home 

loving can heal 
loving can mend your soul 
and is the only thing 
that i know (know) 
i swear it will get easier 
remember that with every piece of ya 
and it's the only thing we take with us when we die 

we keep this love in a photograph 
we make these memories for ourselves 
where our eyes are never closing 
our hearts were never broken 
and times forever frozen still 
so you can keep me 
inside the pocket 
of your ripped jeans 
holdin' me closer 
till our eyes meet 
you won't ever be alone 

and if you hurt me 
well that's ok baby only words bleed 
inside these pages you just hold me 
and i won't ever let you go 

wait for me to come home 

oh you can fit me 
inside the necklace you got when you were 16 
next to your heartbeat 
where i should be
keep it deep within your soul 

and if you hurt me 
well that's ok baby only words bleed 
inside these pages you just hold me 
and i won't ever let you go 

when i'm away 
i will remember how you kissed me 
under the lamppost 
back on 6th street 
hearing you whisper through the phone 
wait for me to come home 

my thanks to the amazing ed sheeran for some needed inspiration. ed- you are so good! my thanks from all those of us with no musical abilities for making life just a little less foggy with your words of wisdom.

photographs include: the photo booth at the smith, locked up scooters in dumbo, the toys-r-us ferris wheel in times square, mounds of magnolia pudding & cocoa; long-awaited stroller naps; jude looking like a little man with his hand towel wrap; miles of street walks, and a pre-movie date with my favorite girl when we saw “cinderella," just us two, one night in manhattan.

1 comment:

  1. Haha, Jude in the towel. Love it!

    ReplyDelete

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