3.20.2013

Jude @ 1 month...

I am completely dumbfounded that it has been a month since Jude was born.
It seems impossible that he is so chubby. 
That those newborn diapers are leaving him with poop all over his body (how are they already too small?). That his newborn onesies barely fit over his head and down his body. That his legs touch my hips when I feed him (they used to tuck in a ball right under my chest!). That he can hold up his little head for moments and just stare at me with big blue eyes. I nearly cry when I look down at him, and say on a daily basis with horror: “MIKAL! HE GREW! DO YOU SEE IT?!” Mike is thrilled to see him grow. 

I’m terrified. Terrified to lose this little newborn baby whom I adore more than I could have ever expected. Terrified that he won’t like me (i.e. when he’s 3. Like a certain blonde 3-year-old I currently live with). 
I want each moment to linger (except the middle-of-the-night-ones when he’s covered all of us in poo and puke for the 3rd time since going to bed, and it’s only 1am). 

These days I have no choice but to keep up at a quicker pace… life seems to be stealing more moments than I wish it would. I wish I could stop and just stare at Jude for hours a day. I wish I could tell him I love him and I can’t wait for the future with him. I hope he knows that this family is so happy to hold him and watch him grow…

Jude Maxwell, we love you so much- your sissy and your dad and me!

1 comment:

  1. Oh man! Your thoughts make me so excited for my sweet little one. There is nothing like those first weeks with a newborn and the feelings you have. I will wish for time to slow down for you too! He's darling!

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