1.20.2013

33 weeks.

i realize i haven't done much other than repeat how hard this pregnancy has been. naturally, i'm a "glass half empty" kind of person...  but now, hormonal to boot! i'm a dream:) if you've been anywhere near me, you've heard my woes. sorry about that:) it's all pathetically reminiscent of my whining days pregnant with elle... and now, i look back and get sick of reading all about it! the truth is that, yes, this has been a really long 8 months so far, but i am so incredibly thankful for this little boy!

although grateful to not be on bed-rest, this time around i have the same lack of energy and desire (x10), except i have to chase a feisty toddler around:) i thought it would be awesome to be pregnant through the winter, but it has been really tough! i miss fall. or spring. it's been so cold and so snowy that unless i'm going to work, we are inside the house. trying to avoid being turned into popcicles, or getting sick...

...except that last week elle & i caught some nasty bug- i thought it was a cold, but it's superhuman and like no cold i have ever experienced. ever. a cold it is not! things got progressively worse for 8 days before they turned back around (slowly) for the better. a whole bunch of antibiotics later and we're on the mend. now i feel like i have "just" a bad cold/flu. add pregnancy to the mix, and i was/am down and out. i'm on day 10 and praying it's gone soon! oh, how i miss cold medicine!

i made it through most all of my pregnancy with elle being able to sleep- this time? not so much. if it's not hiccups 4 times a night, it's tumbling and kicking my kidneys. i'm praying nights awake will not be a pattern that shall continue post-birth:) sleepless nights are also due to constant trips to the bathroom.
or my mind just thinking thoughts like, 'wow! you should really be sleeping right now!'
or it could also be the snowplows outside at 5am.
or this sickness...
or elle coming into our room, ready for the day at 5:30am....
sleep!! oh sleep!

my belly is currently the same size as it was when i delivered elle. rats. nothing like feeling gigantic to boost one's already fragile temperament, eh!? my clothes are pathetically tight and short (even the maternity ones which i've really avoided this time around)- my pants hardly stay up, and my i can feel cold air under my belly. do you know what i mean? when you're so round you realize gravity isn't working in your favor- clothes don't usually go over, around, and back under. so attractive! working out is only a dream, and i miss it desperately!

some good news is that the problems with my sciatic haven't gotten worse. which is what they were expected to do. i haven't collapsed in a good... 3 weeks? that's a huge improvement!!! it is funny how i start to panic, wondering if i'll ever have a normal body again. or walk again. or see my toes...will i!? someone tell me i will... i think i will...?

baby boy is sitting just like elle was, only higher up- one leg pushing so hard on my right side that i have been able to grab his little foot through my skin. he's so active. so active! if i stand more than 5 minutes, i feel like he will fall out of me. although i am fairly sure that can't happen (so says my male doctor. but i swear i beg to differ on certain days. men. so silly!)

all that being said, i am trying to remember that i may never get this chance again. i have 33 weeks under my belt... and within 7 more (or 6, or 5!), i should get to meet this little man! i am so excited. i am also nervous and terrified and worried. and most other words that are pretty synonymous with "nervous and terrified and worried." all of it- making it to the actual birthing process without losing sanity. labor. a fragile little newborn. don't get me started on nursing vs. formula. kid #1 attempting to smother kid #2. being able to handle being a new mom again...? oh, dear! i guess i just keep going, right? because that's what you do? so i'll keep going! here's to the next few months and all that is in store:)

2 comments:

  1. Oh get it all out!! I'm not one of those women who just love being pregnant either - but I sure love my kids!! It's hard stuff. But there's one thing I do know about you Amanda - YOU can do it! You are one amazing woman. :) I always get excited when things in the fridge expire AFTER the baby is due. Then I know...I'm almost there.

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  2. just wait until you see his cute squishy face. miraculously all this misery will be forgotten...well mostly.

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