9.17.2011

poop & being mortified by an apostle. for the second time.

Poop:
As mentioned previously, we’ve been working on potty-training.
The other day I decided to stay home all day and do nothing but keep Elle naked, helping her get used to “going pee-pee & poop on the potty!”
Who’s jealous?!
Elle woke up at 7:30 and I kept her naked until… 1:15. The kid had to nap at some point! Well, that’s 5.5 hours with no signs of pee. Clearly, she has way better bladder control than her mother.
No joke, she’s brilliant.
She doesn’t want to pee on the potty. So she doesn’t.
She of course peed during her nap, but when she got up, it was naked time again… and once again, nudity.
Pee-free nakedness until she went to bed at 8:30.
WHAT? Seriously.
How do you teach a kid to be potty trained, if they don’t… potty?
Leave it to Elle to outwit us all.
She’s gone a bunch of times in recent weeks.
Mostly when we’ve caught her and run her into the bathroom. More poop than pee. No one prepares you as a parent for how much poop you get on your floor.
Maybe that’s just me?
Shoot, that’d be embarrassing.
Elle gets an M&M when she goes potty.
She loves it. She cheers and claps.
Sometimes she even tells me when we’re driving that she’s peeing! Not that I can do anything at that moment in time…
Alas, whenever I ask her, “Do you have to pee?”
“NOOOOOO!!!!!!!”
I’ve tried sitting her on the potty for ages and letting her watch “The Little Mermaid” on our laptop.
No pee.
Hmm. We seem to be at a crossroads.
What do i do now?
Anyway, it’s funny. Funny, and moderately obnoxious.

Mortification (unrelated to bowel movements):
Last Friday night we had a free meal at a café near our house- we went in and were one of 3 families in the restaurant. Immediately, Elle had a full-blown tantrum. She wanted one of their giant cookies (you know the ones that are the size of pies and have writing on them?). Clearly, she couldn’t have one- they are plastic. As she flung herself onto the floor, wailing, I grabbed her arm and drug her outside for time-out. I tossed placed her into a chair and firmly explained that we were in public. She needed to be a big girl and we were getting our dinner just as quick as we could! As I lectured her, I realized I was up against a window. “I sure hope no one is sitting at the table on the other side of this window. That would be awkward.” When her time-out was finished, we went back inside, ordered our food, and sat down.
Mike leaned over to me, “Um, weren’t you and Elle on the other side of that window?”
“Yes.”
“Oh...I think that’s President and Sister Eyring.”
WHAT ARE THE ODDS!?
Seriously, people!? If you aren’t Mormon, you won’t understand the humiliation. If anyone hears a talk during General Conference addressed to violent mothers/abusing your children/keeping your calm in public/etc., know that it was inspired by President Henry B. Eyring’s terrible experience one Friday night.

Just of the record, this is the second time I’ve been mortified while in the presence of this incredible man. There was also a thoroughly embarrassing moment when I wore green squirrel shoes and he kind of called me out.
Oh, Amanda.

4 comments:

  1. oh man! i die at your posts! potty training... i have had my thoughts of trying with g... but he isnt easily motivated by um, anything.... so we will see! but i did read the potty training in 3 days. and if i do get ambitious in the next little bit that is probably what i will TRY to do... its intense but i have tons of friends who swear it works! anyway, have you tried giving her TONS to drink while she has naked time??

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  2. I'm sorry but I am laughing a lot at this post. First of all the title is hilarious. Second, potty training or poop training sounds awful. Maybe she just isn't quite ready? I haven't a bit of advice for you on that one. :) Last, I'm sure President Eyring was smiling thinking of what a darling young mother you are and how you were trying to teach your child. No worries!

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  3. Oh my gosh that made me laugh SO HARD!!!!!! Amanda I love it!! Hang in there with potty training....When I got my two girl's trained I was seriously looking around like okay were is my medal...anyone I deserve a freaking metal or award or SOMETHING..well I guess potty trained kids are the reward but seriously potty training not so fun, but once you get them trained it is HEAVEN! As for the other moment I'm sure it one by your last haha life as a mom:) Which by the way I think you are a fabulous one!!

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  4. Oh I laugh and laugh again! This is something that would totally happen to me. Leave it to our children to act out at the worst possible times, especially when you would love for someone like Pres Eyring to see you are such an amazing (because you are) mom. I'm sure he saw past it all and thought it was great of you to take the opportunity and discipline during that teaching moment.

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